Women, no matter what type, have a tendency to unintentionally push a man's buttons in the beginning of a relationship. This usually leads to the "Where did I go wrong?", and by this time, he's most likely to avoid any questions you insist on asking him about it. There are ways to avoid this, and there are ways to get your questions answered without having him realize he's opening up. Which is a subject in itself. I am going to keep this as short, and sweet as possible. These are 10 mistakes women tend to make with their beaus in the beginning, or start of a relationship, that usually get the break-up ball rolling. These are in no particular order, as they can vary in damage from each man. Just try to make a little note of them, and if you catch yourself in the process of making one, step back and ask yourself if you might regret your actions later on.
1. Ladies, men generally know it is their "responsibility" to make the phone calls. Unless they are extremely insecure, in which case why would you bother anyway, they will call you if they want to talk to you. They will also return your calls to them, if they want to talk to you. Trust in this, if he is into you, he WILL call. If he doesn't, then be over it. You will only annoy him, and there is no turning back from being annoying. This has never failed, and it never will. I know it's hard to fight the urge, but this is worth it in the end.
2. I know it's tempting when your snuggled close together to want to talk about your relationship, and find out where you stand in all this madness. First off, men are more action oriented when it comes to love, the fact he is snuggling with you is his way of showing you he cares about you. Don't ruin it by trying to analyze things. You'll find him scooting over and bringing that arm back from around your shoulders real quick. Talking about feelings makes it all too much a reality for a man, and he will close up. You might find a sensitive one here and there, but better safe than sorry.
3. Stop asking questions about his past girlfriends. A question or two about why they broke up is fine, you have a right to know if she tried to kill him. But, too many questions about them can lead to all sorts of problems, that is including a reconciliation. You get him thinking about those good old days, and she might be the one he's calling tomorrow.
4. Make it a habit of stepping outside yourself if you find that you have been babbling on and on. Most men will listen for a while, but when you start going into how you like to dress your cat for the fall season, you might want to just show him Fluffy's wardrobe instead of describing it for two hours.
5. Here's an important one, at least in the beginning, don't shed any tears. If you've caught a sad movie, he'll find it endearing, but if your sobbing because he forgot to hold your hand or kiss you goodbye, you are turning him off for sure.
6. This is an oldie, but a goodie. Don't be so available. If you have been out a few times, the next time he asks, say you have plans. He's not going to give up asking you out because you have a life. Also, if he says he is going out with the boys tell him how cute you think it is, and that you hope they tear it up and have a wild time. You will score points with this, and he'll be thinking about you while he's out. I guess you could say you're putting a little reverse psychology at work here, but this is almost always a fail proof tactic.
7. Okay Ladies, let's talk about Hallmark cards, greeting cards, and just about any card you can think of. (Handmade Included) Unless it's a birthday, in which case, you should get something funny and just sign your name, don't give your guy cards with a short novel written in them, or your latest poetry. This is also including those long drawn out letters, and if your far away a letter is okay, but stay away from the hand to hand kind. Every man I know cringes at the thought of these. I know you want to pour your heart out, but it's too much for a man to swallow when your first starting out. If he sends them to you, then you can send them back to him with no worries. But, this is highly unlikely, I'm afraid.
8. Most men know that the "I forgot my (fill in the blank )at your place" trick, is a sham. Unless he's never had any dealings with women, he knows what your trying to do here. If he wants you to leave your things at his place, he'll say " Why don't you just leave that here?" This can really creep some men out. If it really is an accident, they will know you didn't mean it. It's a good idea, though, to check and make sure you have everything to avoid him mistakenly thinking you did it on purpose.
9. Unless he asks you, DON'T show up at his work. This should be pretty self explanatory. It's a bad idea on so many levels.
10. And last but not least, do not bring up marriage, and all your hopes for a huge family. If he asks, trust that he's not looking for all the dreams you had when you were 12 years old about your wedding day, and the gown you designed. Do not talk about what your kids would look like, and how you would raise them together to be good caring citizens. If he initiates this kind of talk, then you can play around with the topic, but keep it a fun conversation, or he will be dreading he ever brought it up. Unless your a mail order bride, and going over your arrangements, this is something you should avoid drumming up a conversation about.
These are 10 mistakes I see over, and over again. They are made in many different ways, but almost always have the same negative result. The most important thing to remember is that men are different, and they just don't move to the same beat as our drum. It's always the best attack to not be like all the other girls who made him uncomfortable, and just let him have a good time. In the beginning, let him hold the keys to all the doors that lead to the "feeling" rooms. He will open them when he's ready, and lock them for good if you constantly knock on them......
